I've been chained to my phone lately, my face washed in blue light every evening as I scroll and scroll, on the brink. I want it to be a magic mirror. I want it to speak to me, to give me comfort or answers. Of course it cannot and will never do those things. I … Continue reading Do you ever think about deleting it all?
On a warm day in early November, I walk from the paved Metroparks path that runs parallel to the road, and step into the shade where a new path forks off, marked with a “no bikes” sign. My baby is asleep in her wrap, warm against my body. Carrying her like this reminds me of … Continue reading In Mundo Cervorum
Remember those “Dear America” books in middle school? They were fictional diaries from the point of view of young characters living through historical events. Those books cycled through the school library like nobody’s business, and I was certainly one of the girls who pawed through them many times, further fraying the ribbon bookmark that came … Continue reading Dear Diary / Dear Stranger / Dear Void
I had begun to feel like nothing would change. Like we would be forever stuck in an era of "These Uncertain Times" or what-the-fuck-ever. (There are many phrases I'd love to never hear again, thanks.) But of course, change happened. As it always does. I found out just after New Year's that I'm pregnant, due … Continue reading a view from the other side
April 24, 2020 I sit in my car, parked in the middle of the bustling grocery store parking lot. I’m trying to gather the motivation to actually get out of the car and walk into the building, grab a sanitized cart, follow arrow stickers on the floor through a maze of one-way aisles crowded with … Continue reading Plague Diary, Part 4: “Don’t call me at home, ’cause I won’t be there.”
April 12, 2020 Patrick has been working from home for almost a month now. I’ve gotten used to waking up to the smell of coffee already brewing, the lights in the house already turned on, music or a podcast playing from the dining room. Patrick has set up his workspace in there: a laptop, a … Continue reading Plague Diary, Part 3: “I heard another beep. Who just joined?”
April 10, 2020 The first couple weeks of quarantine, I went out in the woods every day. This isn’t something specific to the pandemic; whenever it’s warm, I walk the parkway path to a patch of woods and murky creek near my house. I track deer, sometimes working my way close to the group of … Continue reading Plague Diary, Part 2: “Don’t come crying to me for any fish”
April 3, 2020 “You look like you’re in some future cyberpunk gang.” I am dressed in black jeans and a black hoodie, an oversized flannel jacket, and a pair of Docs caked in Cuyahoga mud. My hair is uncombed and dip-dyed a hue that I swear is blue but that my husband, Patrick, says looks … Continue reading Plague Diary, Part 1: “I hate this timeline”